Today we are going to look at some of things that you probably were taught at home or at school, but you may never have taken the time to look at them directly. As a result you may be at a loss when you need to communicate to your team.
How would you tell them what you want them to do without sounding like a nagging parent? How do you find out where they are coming from without sounding like the Inquisition? What do you say when you and the team reach an impasse?
You are the team leader. That means it is up to you to not only do your own work, but to help the team members accomplish theirs. In order to know what to say you need to spend some time thinking about it. Ask yourself what your assumptions are and make sure that your reasoning is sharp and clear. Think of examples of what you are proposing, even if they are hypothetical or metaphorical. Try to get a picture of the team members’ perspectives, their view points. Then prepare to publicly test your conclusions and assumptions in a team meeting.
So what are you going to say? Here are some beginning phrases that might help you get your message across:
- Here’s what I think and here’s how I got there. . .
- I assumed that. . .
- I came to this conclusion because. . .
- What do you think about what I just said?
Next, is that you need more information. You have to gently find out what information they are operating from. To do this you need to use nonaggressive language in such a way that you do not provoke defensiveness. Help them by drawing out their reasoning. You want to find out as much as you can about why they are saying what they are saying. Check your understanding of what they have said. And listen for new understanding that you might receive. Remember you will never get that understanding if you are thinking about your response.
Here are some phrases that will help you do this without being aggressive:
- What leads you to conclude that?
- What causes you to say that?
- Instead of asking “What is your proof?” you would do better to ask “Can you help me understand your thinking here?”
- What is the significance of that?
- How does this relate to your other concern?
- Can you describe s typical example?
- Am I correct that you are saying. . .
So what happens when neither you nor the team can get passed a certain point and have reached an impasse? This is not a bad thing. Embrace the impasse and tease apart the current thinking. You want to look for information that will help people move forward. Asking what logic or data might change their views is a good idea. It is not a good idea to speak from a different point of view.
You might want to say things like:
- What do we know for a fact?
- What don’t we know?
- What do we agree upon, and what do we disagree upon?
- What, then, would have to happen before you would consider alternatives?
If some of the phrases seem foreign to how you talk, you can rewrite them in your particular speech patterns. And if they seem totally foreign and you have never thought in these kinds of terms before, take your time working on them. Take a problem you are having and go through the process with a mentoring colleague who is willing to help you.
Finally you can see how you are doing by journaling, keeping portfolios of documents that are produced in the course of your team’s work, create some performance indicators are related to the goals and activities of the professional plan, do surveys or ask your mentor.
Do you have any different ways to talk to your team? Please leave a comment in the box below.
This information is from Washington State School Directors’ Association and found on http://www.nsba.org/sbot/toolkit/
Jaco Grobbelaar, owner of BroadVision Marketing, helps business owners and business professionals put marketing strategies in place that consistently secure new clients. He can be reached at jaco@broadvisionmarketing.com or 707.799.1238. You can “Like” him at www.facebook.com/broadvisionmarketing or connect with him on www.linkedin.com/in/JacoGrobbelaar.
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